My Own Blog

Welcome to my very own blog!  I am excited to have something of my very own!  My whole life i have shared everything.  I come from a big family full of fun, craziness and love. Growing up I shared everything! My clothes, my room, my toys, my food, everything.  I'm not complaining!  I had a good childhood and love my family very much.  Though, I always envied my one brother. He was the lone ranger among 7 sisters!  Everyone would always say, "that poor boy!"  "Yes," I'd say, "poor boy....he gets his own room, his own clothes, his own boy toys, he doesn't have to share!" I guess maybe it wasn't that easy for him but from an outsider who shared everything he had it made!.

Shortly after I left home I met my sweetheart and we were married.  Never before had I been so grateful to have to share my bed!  I loved sharing everything with him. One of our favorite meals was a sweet intimate meal of one Cornish game hen stuffed with yellow rice which we ate together as we watched our favorite movie. He's a lefty and I'm a righty so we can hold hands while we eat...awwwww. :)  He was kind enough to share everything with me too!  When I was extremely pregnant and hot and none of my clothes fit he graciously shared his basketball shorts and pajama pants with me.  I have since given up on the basketball shorts (to wear them would me I would have to find time shave my legs!) and find myself borrowing his t-shirts.  They're just so much more comfortable than mine!  Plus, they smell good too!

I have 5 children, 7 years old and under. I love my little monsters angles! I would do anything for them. However, as you can imagine nothing is my own. I share my food with whichever scrounger is nearby because everyone knows anything tastes better off Mom's plate. (Sometime I sneak ice cream to the park in a coffee cup.) My sweet little girl loves to wear my t-shirts as night shirts (what goes around comes around, right?!). As I put on my make-up in the morning I usually have one or two little ones helping me and begging to share my lip gloss (yes, I only have one girl! hehehe and for the little boys we call it chapstick!) Oh! don't even get me started on my bed!  I no longer have the luxury of waking up snuggled up to my handsome hubby....instead I find myself waking up in a puddle of drool (better than pee...been there done that!) smashed beside two feet in the head, a knee in the back, and someone else sprawled at the bottom of my feet. Did you know that you can get a cramp in your chest muscles?  I usually sleep with my arm under my head but for the last week I've woken up many times feeling like someone is stabbing me in my collar bone! My sweetheart is still there....somewhere....usually sleeping peacefully clinging to the very edge of the bed for dear life.My favorite is when I wake up and his arm is stretched around the kiddos and tenderly touching my head just so we can be close. I have dreams of a king size bed in the near future but then again maybe it can wait!

Sometimes, when talking to people on the rare occasion when I don't have children climbing on me, I wonder if people think I'm schizophrenic because I always refer to us and we.  LOL  

Last year I decided to take online classes through BYU-Idaho.  We were required to meet with a local group once a week and discuss what we were learning.  SCARIEST THING EVER!  At our first meeting I sat there with all of these new people who had no idea who I was. It was a good mix of people and as we introduced ourselves I found myself relating to many of them. Suddenly I realized that I had no idea who I was. I was Meagan. Who was that?  I hate it when my sweetheart calls me Meagan because I feel like I'm in trouble! Instead I am usually Honey or Sweetie. I also love to be Mom! (unless there's a scream or a whiny voice behind it in which case I'd love to change my name to anything else!) Some of my family calls me Mae for short and I LOVE it!  It's sweet and endearing.  My nieces and nephews call me Aunt Mae and it's awesome! I love serving at church and being with my church family. I love to hear people there call me Sister Ferguson!  But, in this new environment I was not Mommy, Honey, Aunt Mae or Sister Ferguson....I was just plain Meagan. It was a scary yet invigorating feeling.  I was on a new adventure to find out who I was. It was an incredible journey! I learned things about myself over the year I had never know about myself, some good....some...eh not so good. I grew closer to my Father in Heaven and even shed a few tears.

After that year of school I moved across the country and had baby number 5.  Life got a little crazy and I began to forget about the things I had learned about this new person. I don't want to forget her! She was emerging so nicely. So, my hope with this blog is to remember that person and let her live on and grow.  I have my own ideas, my own feelings, and I see my own miracles from the Lord.  I am important to Him in all the roles of life I lead but most importantly I am His daughter and He knows and loves me individually and I'm on a mission to find out who I am.